Commuter's Digest: Your Commuting Companion

Funny Stuff: The Many Kinds Of Obnoxious Commuters. Are You One?

Posted by Kyle Therese Cranston on Jan 5, 2017 1:54:24 PM

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There are several different types of commuters out there. Sadly, many are a little on the obnoxious side. Are your commuting habits annoying those around you? Let's find out!

The Phone-y
Do you find yourself so bored while taking the bus that you just have to call your bestie as soon as you hop aboard? Do you use your commute time as a chance to catch up with your mom on all the family gossip? Is talking on the phone such a huge part of who you are that you feel lost without your cell attached to your ear? Then, you, my friend, are the Phone-y. Hopefully, the people stuck next to you have invested in a good pair of noise-canceling headphones.

The Dozer
You just can’t help it, every single time you set foot on the train, your eyelids become heavy, and a nap just seems inevitable. You are the Dozer. Just call you “Prince Valium.” (If you get that reference, you rule. If you don’t, you need to watch Spaceballs STAT. It’s one of the greatest movies of all time.) The Dozer isn’t such a bad commuter to be stuck next to, just as long as you keep to yourself, meaning, don’t take up more than one seat or use the shoulder of the person sitting next to you as a headrest. 

The Over-Sharer
You love to talk and don’t care who hears about your personal business. You are the Over-Sharer. Whether you’re yapping on the phone about your relationship woes or telling the friend sitting next to you all about your workout regime, everyone on the train car can hear you, and it’s just a little...well, it's annoying…unless the information you’re over-sharing is funny, then you might be amusing your co-riders. I'm not going to lie, I've been accused of being an Over-Sharer myself. I like to think I'm an amusing one though. 

The Bum-Rusher  
Always have to be the “first” to get on the train? Do you find yourself shoving innocent bystanders aside as you push your way onto the train car? Do you have a tendency to block people from trying to exit just so you can get on before anyone else? If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, then you are the Bum-Rusher. Boston is so anti bum-rushing that the MBTA has put markings on Orange Line platforms in hopes of teaching commuters to wait before everyone who needs to exit the train does so before newcomers can hop on. Click here to read more. 

The Jammer
The Jammer is right up there with the Over-Sharer, except music is the weapon of choice. Whether you’re rocking out so loudly everyone within a 1-mile radius can hear that terrible Maroon 5 song blaring from your ear buds, or you’re proudly singing along with Lady Gaga, the people around you are probably not enjoying your show.

The Bag Lady
Do you always seem to have a ton of bags with you when commuting? Do you take up way more space than you should because of all your stuff? Then, you (like me) are the Bag Lady. (Yes, I fully admit to being a commuter Bag Lady, and I know firsthand that it annoys my fellow riders. But, a gal needs her stuff!) 

The Groomer
Do you use the bus as your own personal beauty parlor? If you do any of the following on your commute: brush your hair, apply makeup, and yes, even clip your fingernails (gross, right), then you are the Groomer. You’re not all that bad though. At last you’re not the Bum-Rusher. But, if your self-beautifying habits are impacting others next to you, it might be time to shut it down…or at least wait until the crowd thins out. 

The Middle of the Train Avoider
Maybe you always felt like the “Jan Brady” of your family. Maybe you were stuck being the Monkey in the Middle one time too many during grade school recess. Or, maybe you’re just claustrophobic, which I can totally relate to, especially on a crowded train. Whatever the case may be, if you will go to any lengths to avoid setting foot in the middle of the train car and will huddle by the door so fiercely, people have to physically contort themselves just to get past you. You are the Middle of the Train Avoider. 

Didn’t fit into any of the above categories? Then, congratulations! You’re an awesome commuter and anyone would be lucky to be stuck next to you on the way to work. Have an idea for a new one I might have missed? Let us know!

Happy Commuting!

Topics: Commuting, commuters, funny commuting

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